This first one one took place when I was trying to ease my daughter V’s fears of the thermometer (under the arm) by doing it myself and saying, “see, it doesn’t hurt. We’re just seeing how hot daddy is.” To which she replied, “daa hot.”  My wife merely giggled.

Our daughter is obsessed with pie as of late, especially “cream pie.”  We have my co-worker to thank for this who brought a cream pie back from Nonesuch, KY (yeah, that’s a real place).  The ladies quickly polished that one off, and a couple of weeks later, V asked for “cream pie.”  My wife replied, “we don’t have any honey,” to which V commanded: “Make pie!”

Whenever V needs to switch sides (nursing, kissing our cheeks), she does the best she can and says “swizz.”

I recently asked V what kind of food she would like for lunch to which she replied “purpo food.”  Thinking I understood her, I asked “what is purple food honey?”  To which she replied “food dat purpo” (with an exasperated look that implied, what did you think it was dad?).  But it has come to my attention that her words for “purple” and “people” sound very similar.  I like my interpretation better in any case.

During one of my rare road-rages in which I let a stream of invective spew forth, I hear a “Daaaa” from the back seat.  Although writing in text does not convey changes in pitch, rest assured that the tone of that “DAaaAA” had a fair amount of scolding in it.  I’m just glad she didn’t repeat what I was actually saying.



I occasionally seek my daughter’s wisdom, so one morning I asked her “should daddy drink milk or juice?” V blithely replied: “pisss.” I’m not sure what my wife’s teaching her when I’m not around…