My daughter has become fond of two iconic figures as of late: Darth Vader and Santa Claus.  While these two commercial titans may appear to be diametrically opposed, I’ve found quite a bit of common ground between them.

The Sith Lord Darth Vader

  1. They both use aliases (Anakin Skywalker and Kris Kringle).  And, if one believes the Rankin-Bass production of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” both use their aliases to cover up their crimes.
  2. Both use mystical powers to manipulate the world.  Santa ignores the laws of gravity (flying reindeer), physics (fitting down a chimney), and Einstein’s Theory of Relativity in that nothing moves faster than the speed of light (in order to deliver presents to all 6+ billion inhabitants of the planet in a single night).  Vader can choke a dude through a CC monitor and flip switches from afar.
  3. Both wear costumes that are easily recognizable by most people in the world.
  4. A red light features prominently in their legendary mythos.  Vader has a red light saber to mete out his own brand of justice.  Santa has a mutant reindeer that allows him to steer through blizzards via a red, glowing nose.
  5. My daughter likes watching both on TV, but when she sees them in real life, she freaks out a bit.
  6. SPOILER ALERT: Both are fictional.
  7. Both can sense state of a person’s soul.  Vader knows when his master/enemy/son is near and can read their thoughts (using that knowledge to manipulate them). Santa knows if you’ve been “bad or good” and rewards or punishes you accordingly.
  8. Both rake in a crap-ton of cash for their respective franchises.
  9. Both have catchy theme songs: Vader has the “Imperial March” and Santa has, well, “Santa is coming to town.”
  10. An army of minions stands ready to do their bidding, be they pointy-eared toy makers or armor-clad storm troopers.
  11. Finally, both have a dedicated transport vehicle.  Vader’s flagship is the Star Destroyer Executor, and Santa has a sleigh.  (Related to their modes of travel, both are also excellent pilots).

I could go on, but I’ve devoted way too much time to this already.

Happy Holidays, and may the force be with you.

Jolly old Santa Claus

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