So my wife decorated a beautiful dollhouse for our daughter (V), and we have several types of dolls for her to play with.  Some are traditional, some, well, aren’t.  One day, V asked me to “play dollies” with her, so I opted for the Star Wars bunch (thanks grandma!).  After explaining the scenarios in each room, my wife wanted to take pictures and asked me to write a blog about the story I created.  What follows is, to the best of my recollection, the events that transpired that fun-filled evening. (Click on the images for a closer look…if you dare!)

First, the overview of the entire house.

When chromosomes collide.

Our first room shows what might have happened had Luke listened to Yoda and not rushed off to confront Vader and if Han Solo did not survive the carbonite freezing process.  Perhaps Luke and Leia might have realized their  unintentionally-taboo feelings for each other.  I’m sure both would be puzzled as to why their child looked like an Ewok, but here Leia consoles the whiny Luke as they bask in marital bliss. (Don’t worry, it was much more G-rated for my daughter).

 

 

The Imperial break room.

In the adjoining room, we have Vader and some of his troopers lounging around the kitchen table with some aliens hovering about.  The Death Star weapons operator, in-between jobs until the new one is built, finds an unbeknownst love for the kitchen, and serves his overlord a Jar-Jar Binks souffle.

 

 

 

Gonna need some Drano for that drain!

Below the kitchen, we see the Wookie, not normally known for cleanliness, being attended to by the mercenary droid IG-88 who, having lost a bet to Boba Fett, was forced into retirement after the latter (and much cooler) bounty hunter captured Han Solo.  A suit of battle armor from the old clone wars stands silently by, a reminder of what can happen to republics if you let an evil Sith Lord have the reins of power in a democracy.

 

 

 

Sure he can speak a million languages, but can he cook?

And in the last room, we see R2-D2 and C-3P0 captured by the Empire and forced to perform culinary duties alongside a fuming Ewok.  This secondary kitchen is much more hazardous than the other, hence the need for droids and disposable workers.  We imagine them cooking with dangerous and nasty ingredients such as Bantha Bladders and Tauntaun Testicles.  (Again, edited in the V-rated version).

 

 

 

"He who stands on toilet is high on pot."

Finally, waiting in the attic, are the last survivors of the Rebellion, getting ready to swoop down on the unsuspecting Imperial troops to wreak vengeance for all the abuses occurring in the house below.  But, Yoda, being 900 years old, can’t hold it like he used to, and is forced to make a quick pit stop before starting the rescue/revenge mission.  Undoubtedly, it will soon smell like a Dagobah swamp anyways, so the rest of his co-conspirators will be glad to get a move on.

 

 

And that, my friends, is what happens when you let a sci-fi geek with a slightly demented imagination play dollies.

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