After 10 years of marriage (tack on another 2 for dating), I’d like to think I’ve learned a thing or two about the institution, but that isn’t really the case.  In retrospect, all I can say is that I’ve learned many things about living with my wonderful wife for nearly all of that time.  After all, marriages are like kids—no two are the same, so no prescriptive formula is going to cover them all.

But, I suppose there are some general bits of “wisdom” that might be generally true for other marriages out there.

  1. Be honest with each other, even when it hurts.  This doesn’t mean you need to detail every moment of your lives, but when it comes to anything significant, honesty is the best policy.
  2. Communicate.  Brooding in petulant silence leads to resentment. Resentment leads to anger.  Anger leads to suffering.  That’s the path to the dark side.
  3. When crap comes your way, you can decide to let it break you down, or, as a couple, push through it.  I think successful marriages push back against whatever comes at them.
  4. Renew your vows every year.  We’ve done this in an informal way, but we always pick an interesting place to do so.  We’ve done it in a church, historic places, and on beaches.  It’s a good reminder and refresher of how and why you promised to be together.

We have a tradition of recording infamous quotes said by our family and friends—generally out of context to make them funnier.  Here’s a few:

I love you booger.  I meant to say baby and sugar, but it came out booger!” (Me to wifey)

It feels good to be a gangsta.” (Wifey)

You always get what you want.  I want to do what I want, which is to be a boar!” (Me, wanting to imitate a boar I saw on TV. Sadly no, I wasn’t drunk.)

Just because I’m arrogant doesn’t mean I’m not right.” (Me)

I’m trying to remember why I got married.” (Wifey-luckily, she remembered)

Oh my lord” (Wifey after something I said) “Finally, you’ve addressed me correctly.” (Me)

How do I look?” (Me) “Give me a minute, I’m helping V [our daughter].” (Wifey) “That’s ok, it was a rhetorical question anyway.” (Me)

So there’s a little jovial insight into our daily interactions—we try and keep it real.  But in all seriousness, my wife has made me a better man, is doing an amazing job as a mother, and is still as hot as ever.  Bring on the next decade!

I love you babe,


p.s. It turns out my wife wrote a post on our anniversary as well.  She even had similar thoughts about “lessons learned,” and no, we didn’t plan it that way! Check it out (and the rest of her insightful blog).

"We do."